Thank You CRB.....

Here is my thank you note that I gave to the pastors over at The Church at Rancho Bernardo. I will keep it up as the second post in line until the end of the year. It might be a little long for one sitting. :-)

Thank you!!!

Dear CRB,

I wanted to give you and all the people at CRB a giant thank you for what you have done this past year for me, Morgan, and our daughter Cassie. Unfortunately, I say this thank you as we also say good bye. We will be moving from San Diego, and returning back to North Carolina, sometime around the Christmas / New Year holidays.

I want to apologize now for the length of this letter, as I know once I start talking about how my (our) life has changed since we walked through this doors last December, and the journey it took to get here, it is hard for me to stop and keep it short.

I grew up Catholic, and was a weekly church attendee, but did not really grasp anything from it. I tried while I attended St. John’s University, but still nothing.

Fast forward to 2003. During the year, I was treated for three stress related ailments, including a trip to the hospital for chest pain. Luckily, not a heart attack, just anxiety and stress. I was a workaholic, not paying enough attention to my loving wife, and always seemed to be upset with my child.

Part to improve her job, and part to save me from myself, Morgan took a job, in March 2004, here in San Diego that forced me to sell my practice, move and be a “kept man”. Sounds like paradise, and it should have been. But less then three months after getting here I was crashing, and in a downwards spiral. Nothing was right. I was unhappy and I was completely miserable. I returned to North Carolina without Morgan, as she was not able to leave her job at the time.

As soon as Cassie and I returned to North Carolina, I got the feeling that I needed to get myself out of this hole, and decided to return to church. We attended a small Southern Baptist church in the neighborhood, and it did help me start to get things back together. Ten months later, in July 2005, Morgan was able to get her employer to agree to let her move back to NC, and still keep her job.

Sounds great, and that should be the end of the story. Well, it wasn’t. Our family life improved, and I was becoming a better person, husband and father, but I was still far away from Jesus. Though I attended church, I was lost there. I did not feel I was worthy of a relationship with Jesus. I did not know how to ask about it, and I was not getting any guidance. Each week the Pastor spoke, I kept on feeling that there was no way I could get there. I was not like the people in the church sitting around me.

Then in only the way God can make it happen, things started to change. When Cassie started second grade in September 2005 at the Christian school she had previously attended before our move, we were introduced to a great teacher, and a now a great friend, Kellie. Kellie and her husband, Steve, are Christians of deep faith, and although we were “not like them” in terms of our faith at the time, Kellie kind of took me under her wing in helping me about starting a relationship with Jesus, and also became very friendly with Morgan, as Morgan helped in the classroom, they spoke about scrapbooking and other things. We got along so well, and felt so close to them, they are now Cassie’s Godparents.

Kellie would give me different lines of scripture for when I had stress or other self induced problems come up. Those were the start of a head shaking journey.

Everything was going very well for us in NC, but at the start of 2007 there was something telling me that we needed to return to San Diego. I mentioned it to Morgan, and remembering the terrible time I had here, and the bumbling, loony idiot that I was the first time, I think she figured I was ready to crack up again.

All this time, I was still attending the little Baptist church, and Kellie was still giving me scripture, but I did not have a relationship with Jesus. I was barely scratching the surface.

Well, after tax season, I brought back up the move to San Diego, and again Morgan dismissed it, but this time we actually discussed it a bit, but came to the conclusion that we did not need to try it again. Well, God has something in mind, he does not give up, and after a late July week of travel (Morgan was commuting back and forth to San Diego 8 times a year) which was not pleasant, I brought up the move to San Diego thing again. This time Morgan said yes, but we would not leave until our house in NC sold. The house was sold within three weeks, and then three weeks later, we were in San Diego.

When we told Kellie about us moving, although she was upset to see us leave, she kept telling me that she could “feel” that we needed to go, and something great was going to happen. She said there was a purpose for it.

We moved, and all was good, or at least I thought so. Then in November, only 2 months after being here, I was back on the downward spiral that occurred back in 2005, and was depressed again. I tried by reading The Bible, and at the same time I was trying different area churches, but something was missing. Even after Morgan and I thought we found what we thought was the “right” church, and started attending together, I was not satisfied. It all came to a head in late November, when I told Morgan I could not stay out here and wanted to get out of here. How she did not beat me there on the spot, and bury me in the backyard is a miracle. Instead we talked, and while talking I mentioned that a mom from Cassie’s swim team told me about another church, close to the house, that we could try. That church was CRB.

I will say from the first day we stepped into this church that first week of December, all three us have had our lives change. It started the first evening we heard the music and Harry speak. Morgan and I left and could not stop talking about how “different” this church seemed. In the coming weeks, we heard from Ken and Jeanette, and each time we talked to each other about the message, and how it seemed to apply to us. Then we showed up for Christmas Eve and were blown away by the talent and “feeling” the church was giving us. The next week was Ken’s “silent message”, and again Morgan and I spoke about what was being done here in the church.

I was reading my Bible more, and Jesus was calling me, but I just was not ready to take the step. That changed after a Saturday night service. That was the service where Jeanette spoke about God’s healing, and after the service asked those of us in pain to come up front for healing. I had terrible neck and shoulder pain for the past year that became more extreme during tax season. At the same time, my step-father was diagnosed with throat cancer, so I told Morgan that I did not deserve healing when others were in worst shape. She basically pushed me out of the seat towards Jeanette (now you know why I cherish Morgan so much). Well, I told Jeanette my story about the pain, and she put her hands on me, and we prayed. Sunday morning I felt better, and on Monday morning I no longer had any pain. That is when I finally said, “Ok, you got me”. At that point I knew what was being told to me and done for me, and I gave myself to Jesus, and let him into my heart.

From there we formally joined the church, and would never look back.

Morgan and I talk about the message of the service almost every week, and can use or see it in our lives each time. That goes for Harry, Jeanette, or any of the wonderful guest speakers that we had during the year. All have left an impression on me.

During this year, we have met many great people, and participated in many different church events. Back in March, we were blessed to meet up with Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo in a parenting class with was lead by Pastor Faye. Now we are part of their small group, and have really enjoyed them and the others in the group. Both Morgan and I have taken Dennis’ New Believer’s Guide to the Bible, and have absolutely enjoyed it. Morgan had joined up with the Motorheads, while I have become part of the Eternal Riders. And let me just say that this is a great group, and is lead by two great people in Randy and Linda Howell.

But, the biggest day during this past year was on Sunday, August 17th. Two weeks prior to our 17th wedding anniversary, Morgan and I were Baptized together, along with many others from CRB, in the Pacific Ocean. That was an amazing day, and being able to be next to Morgan, and have it done together, just made it even more special.

CRB has also taught me that being a Christian does not mean you will be perfect all the time, or that you might not come with some prior baggage. I have been shown and taught here that Jesus will love me, and others will help me in my journey, even with some “bumps in the road” getting here, and further along later on the ride. Not all will be smooth, but as long as you get back on the path when you do hit some bumps, all will be good.

Now it is time to say goodbye and thank you. Kellie was correct. There was a reason for our return to San Diego, and it was a wonderful reason. We are going to miss all of you tremendously, but we also know that the church and all of you will be with us forever. What you have done for me, and my family will never be forgotten.

Thank you.

Sal