impressions.....

Up to the point Morgan and I walked into CRB, I never thought I would be accepted as a Christian. Not by the people who were in those churches I, or we, visited over the last 35 years, and definitely, not by Jesus. Why? I had way too much baggage, and those people I saw and spoke with had none of that weighing them down. Or so I thought.

Growing up in the Northeast as Roman Catholic meant that even though you went to church each Sunday (or Saturday night), unless you were a clergyman, or named a Cardinal, Saint or the Pope, or one of the little old ladies clutching her Rosary Beads, you were going to hell. It seemed we just went to church to make the journey down easier.

I remember fear, threats, and lots of confessional booths. Not much else. As for the people, they had "issues" (Especially the men it seemed. Catholic women didn't talk about their problems, as their problems seemed to revolve around their husbands.) It probably did not help that my brother and I were dropped off at a church on our own, and then picked up afterwards. I don't blame my parents, but I don't think they realized what a setback (at least to me), that was in understanding religion.

Then after college and leaving the church for 18 years, I decide to get back into trying to find God by going to a Southern Baptist Church. Here all the people in the church were presented as perfect, or at least that was the impression they gave. Everybody seemed to be born the perfect Christian, and lead the perfect Christian life. I was back to thinking, "what am I trying to accomplish here with what I have behind me?".

I was intimidated, and afraid to come forward, because I believed how I had lived before would anchor me, and never let me get to where I wanted to go, and that was to a relationship with Jesus. I was afraid of someone hearing about my past, or present, and saying "No" to me. I needed to know that people like me could come to God, be forgiven, and then allowed to live a normal life that has Jesus at our side. I wasn't seeing or hearing that message.

Then we met people at CRB. Some of them were that "perfect" Christian, who grew up always in the church, and pretty much was on that "straight and narrow" path. But they said hello to us, and talked to us, not down at us, like I had felt before. (And before I go any further, no Kellie, you, or your family, or some others at WCA, never made me feel that way) Then we met others, and in discussions they told about drug, alcohol and other addictions, infidelities, betrayals and other "baggage" from their lives. They were willing to open up to me, to let me know that it was OK to have baggage, and that you can let it go and start a new chapter. I saw all these people together as Christians, and finally realized that "yes" I could be one of them. That was the lock that needed to be opened to finally allow myself to open up to God.

As silly as this may sound, it also helped me to learn that those I met and became friends with also enjoyed many of the same activities that I did. That includes some fellow game players, sport nuts, and of course motorcycle riders. Before CRB, I would have never dreamed of riding with fellow church members, including my Pastor.

My thoughts and impressions about "who" a Christian was, has changed 180 degrees these past 15 months, and even though it took a long time to get myself on the same page, it was well worth the wait.

Again, thanks for reading and letting me "talk" about what has gone on, and what I am thinking about.

Until the next time.....