leafs changing.....

I know the title is not spelled correctly. It's a hockey thing. :-)

Well my friend Kellie posted some pictures on her page of the leaves turning color at her home in NC. They were great pictures as always (Kellie & Casey, both got me interested in photography), with the vibrant fall colors and the sense of cool air in their look, and with all that they made me homesick. I have been feeling that way quite a bit today. I am sure it has to do with it being Thanksgiving week.

For a little back story, this is not my first time out in San Diego. Morgan accepted this job back in 2004, and we packed up and came out here. Her in March, while Cassie & I at the end of May. Cassie and I were gone by mid August. It was a combination of homesickness, being scared, and the fact that I had worked myself into such a frenzy over the prior 10 years, that I was on the verge of a mental collapse sometime in the near future. Just happened that it all came to a breaking point after arriving here in San Diego.

The time of leaving my wife behind until she returned home (to the same house we never sold) in July 2005 was the toughest I have faced, but also the best. I had many nights where I thought Morgan would call and tell me she was not returning because of what I had done. I cried many times. But with that, the time brought me back to church, and to Jesus. That in turn helped me to be a better person than I was prior to the collapse. And that helped me become a better husband, father, friend, and person.

Back to present day - I am having none of those "get me the heck out of here!" feelings. I am enjoying it out here, as I type part of this by an outdoor swimming pool in mid November. Just miss my friends. There was a comfort level that I had reached with the area and the people in my life. I get along with many people, but only a few I call "friends", and even fewer I enjoy spending time with. I used to not need those "close" people, but as I have gotten older, and after my problems, I really have come to appreciate a good friendship and the mutual support that comes with it. I exclude my wife from this, as I have always considered her my best friend since the day we met 17+ years ago, and she is always there if I need her.

I have met a good amount of nice people here through school, swim team, and Harley group, but none that I have said I would like to get together with for dinner. It has only been two months, so I need to relax, and not force it.

It's funny, because this is the opposite of what I am telling Cassie. I am trying everything to have her make a friend out here, and she's just not hitting it off with anyone. Friendly and talkative with many girls, but no friends yet. I know she is enjoying being out here and getting to do many different things (more on that tomorrow), but she also misses the people, and the few close friends she had back in NC. If I look close enough, I guess that is another area where my daughter is just like her father.

Until the next time.....